It’s an effing TURTLE with an EFFING TIRE attached to it, hahahaha!!!

Tina the tripod tortoise was always rather blue
‘Cause she couldn’t get about so well – like other tortoise do!
She would frolic in the sunshine, but her tough old tortoise skirt
Always hung down in one corner – and then dug into the dirt.

The friendly tortoise keeper, down at Longleat, just near Bath
Would stand protective near her – asking children not to laugh
when she scraped across the gravel, listing slightly off to port.
‘cause her rearwards right hand corner had no meaningful support.

One day, whilst watching Tina, a brainy sort of kid, said
Fit her with a rubber wheel – or a little Teflon skid.
It’s sad that all her under-bits are dragging in the dirt
Just look at that sharp gravel. That’s really got to hurt.

And so a wheel was fitted, pneumatic like the best
with a tiny shock absorber, all screwed onto Tina’s chest.
She never feels the gravel now – her butt is never sore
She’s booked in for a retread in two thousand ninety four.

Mike Ktori
Tasmania